Pissmeoff-book

Now that I'm up and blogging, I may as well share with "you all" my Top 5 Pet Peeves on Facebook. These are the things that really tick me off. Can you relate? I think we all recognize a few of these. Anyone you know come to mind??....

1. When someone (the Innocent Victim or I.V.) shares news, gives information about their lives, talks about a movie they want to see, or even recommends a freaking restaurant and one of their friends (Debbie Downer or D.D.) just has to rain on the parade. ------> I.V. "I'm moving to a new apartment! So excited!" D.D. "The one on Elm St.? My cousin's sorority sister got assaulted in the hallway there...so...congrats on the place, I guess." OR -----> I.V. "Going out with the girls tonight! Trying that new Cuban restaurant!" D.D. "My mom went their last week and she got diarrhea. She had food poisoning, probably. She was super sick. And their desert menu is pricey." OR -----> I.V. "I'm really excited to see the new Jude Law movie. It's looks really good." D.D. "Yeah, he dies at the end. It was a pretty stupid movie."
2. Two words: Ambiguous. Status. I get so irritated when people (The Damsel or T.D.) post things to their status that sound really terrible or could be cause for concern, but don't elaborate. Like, I get that you want to keep your personal business private...but then why would you put it on Facebook...sort of? Plus, what's worse, is that 9 times out of 10 they won't tell you (The Baffled Friend or B.F.) if it's good or bad.... ------> T.D. "Trying to hold on. Don't know if I'll make it through." B.F. "What's wrong? Is everything ok??" to which the T.D. almost always replies "It's nothing." Insert my huffy eye-roll here. Or -----> T.D. "Can't believe this is happening. I just keep hoping everything's ok..." B.F. "What happened?" T.D. "I really can't talk about it." Seriously??? I mean, WTH?? It's like the girl that's always crying in the high school bathroom, just so everyone can gather 'round and ask what's wrong. If you have an issue you have two options: 1) Tell your friends via message so you can have their input and support. 2) Put it as your status (I don't necessarily recommend this option. *drama* Buuut, I understand that sometimes you want people to know. If you choose this option, don't try to be mysterious. Please.) expecting to have to answer questions and promise you won't get irritated by inquiring minds. 3) Keep it to ya own dang self!
3. The duck face profile picture. I know this has been beat to death and I KNOW everyone already makes fun of it, but, obvi, it isn't stopping anyone. EEEEEEE-nough! Please, fifteen-year-old girls of the world, stop embarrassing yourselves. You don't look cute. You don't look sassy. You don't look smart. You look like an idiot. Furthermore, adding cheap Photoshop does nothing for you either. Everyone knows your eyes aren't that blue and your clever little quote makes you sound young and full of stupid ideas. 
4. The Judger. The Judger (T.J.)is the person that comments on your status that you're wrong or you have the wrong perspective. They often feel the need to tell you how ungrateful you are, how you need to appreciate every single little crappy situation for the bigger picture. The Judger sometimes has the potential to be helpful, but most often they're just annoying...and judgey. -----> I.V. "I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. I thought I was doing so well. Definitely disappointed." T.J. "In this economy, you're lucky you even have a job. Be grateful that you're still employed. Maybe this is a lesson to be learned. Perhaps you have room to work harder." Was that supposed to be helpful?! Cause, if I'm not mistaken, The Judger just sounds like a big ol' douche. Sure, it's good to keep perspective; to appreciate how blessed you are. But it's equally ok to have a crappy day, to be disappointed! The Judger also like to use "...." and "????" as comments. Like they just cannot fathom your disappointment/situation. 
5. The Judger almost inevitably leads to The Topper (T.T.). This person likes to take every opportunity they can find to make what you just said/complained/bragged about sub-par to their own story. You're having a bad day? They had a worse one. Got a great deal? They got a better one. Anything you throw out, they will always try to top it. ------> I.V. "I'm so tired. My daughter didn't sleep very well and I had to be up at 6. Man, work was so long." T.T "That's nothing. You should be grateful you have children. I had to be up at 5 and had to spend an extra hour in traffic. Then I had to work overtime and I had bad chicken salad and heartburn for lunch. At least you don't work long days like I do." *crickets*...Uhm, thanks for sharing, Topper. You win? 

There you have it. My list. I could go on, but I'm already feeling guilty enough for being part of each of these groups, at one point or another. We all do annoying things on Facebook, say dumb stuff....Moral of the story: Just don't be a repeat offender. 

What kinds of people bother you on Facebook?