Representin': How to Make a Pumpkin Roll in Just 24 Easy Steps

It's that time of year again. The leaves are changing, the air is getting crisp, hot chocolate sounds delicious, and I am under the false assumption that I am Martha Stewart.

It happens every year. I become a cross between Martha Stewart and Clark Griswold.

In search of the perfect Fall experience and pre-Christmas season memories.

I've learned to just ride it out. Let it pass.

As Martha Griswold, I present to you:

How to Make a Pumpkin Roll in Just 24 Easy Steps.

Step 1: Go to the store. (This step is important. It sets the mood for your whole experience.) I went to the store at 8 o'clock at night with a toddler who had yet to eat dinner.

Step 2: Upon arriving at the store, realize you have no idea what goes into the pumpkin roll because you didn't look for a recipe before you left the house.

Step 3: Remember your Grandma telling you that the recipe is on the inside of the Libby's pumpkin can label.

Step 4: Savagely rip the label off a Libby's can. You must use the ferocity of a hundred grizzly bears and the stealth of a panther.

Step 5: Wander aimlessly around the store, having to read and re-read the recipe 12 times because your toddler keeps yelling, "Memaw! Memaw! Memaw!...Light-buuulb." During this time, you will realize you have none of the necessary baking ingredients already at home and you will spend more than you had planned.

Step 6: Once home, assemble the ingredients on the counter. Leave them there for 3 days, along with your good intentions.

Step 7: Preheat oven to 375 and butter up that jelly roll pan you've been dying to use. Line with wax paper. Make sure you cut nice, jagged edges with dull scissors so your paper sorta fits the pan.

Step 8: Mix ingredients together.

Step 9: Realize you bought "Whole Cloves" when the recipe calls for "Ground Cloves".

Step 10: Convince yourself it doesn't matter. Begin crushing the whole cloves with your makeshift mortar and pestle.

Step 11: After giving it a college try, accept that whole cloves are much too hard to grind to fine powder with a spoon. Turn off oven in frustration.

Step 12: Send husband to the store to get ground cloves.

Step 13: Turn oven back on.

Step 14: Pour pumpkin batter into jelly roll pan.

Step 15: Bake for 14 minutes.

Step 16: Go against your best judgment, and dump the cake out onto a sugar-covered dish towel.

Step 17: Peel off wax paper, fully expecting cake to be either burned or stuck to paper and broken.

Here's where things get dicey...

Step 18: Read the recipe 27 times, making sure that this is seriously what they want you to do. Decide it won't work, but do it anyway. Roll up the cake, towel and all. Lay the little darling to rest on the counter.

Step 19: Mix together mysterious frosting ingredients.